Anger

Some on you may remember that as I’m editing my book for publication, parts of the material edited out is being posted here. This is from the first chapter, in a section on autistic experiences of emotion–an attempt to counter the “emotionless autistic” stereotype. So, here is “Anger . . .

What triggers your rage attacks?” someone asked on the Wrong Planet website.  The answers were many and varied.  “Severe bullying.” “When I felt powerless to control something.” “Cruelty.” “Feeling as if my integrity has been questioned.” “Being called ‘crazy’.” “People hurting my friends.” “When somebody tries to take my parking space” (This individual lives in New York City.) “Noise pollution.” “When people yell at me.” “Parents who abuse their children.” “Obnoxiously loud people. Obnoxiously arrogant people. Obnoxious people in general.” “Frustration from not being able to get a job.” “Lack of ability to communicate verbally.”[1]   

Their lives full of frustrations, disappointments, and infuriating experiences of cruelty and dismissal, people with autism are frequently angry.  And often this anger is very intense:

Emotions, we feel them more intensely than others and sometimes it’s too much handle. Especially emotions such as anger and frustration. In my case, I do have quite the temper, however, I JUST about manage to contain and internalise it. I fear the day I finally lose grasp and actually express anger.[2]

Young autistic children, in particular, have tremendous difficulty controlling their anger.  It tends to explode in the form of meltdowns.  The warning signs may be very subtle, hard for neurotypical adults to detect.  Then the meltdown appears to come out of nowhere, even when it has actually been building for some time.  Here an adult recalls her childhood emotions:

On the surface everything looked calm, right up to the point where the pressure became too much and I exploded with violent fury. I was never able to talk about it: the feelings were so intense that I couldn’t contain them and all I could vocalise were screams of anguished rage.  It was an anger born as much of frustration at my inability to identify and turn my emotions into words as it was of my distress and discomfort.[3]

Most children on the autism spectrum do gradually learn to contain their anger, in a process that may go unnoticed by neurotypical adults.  Here an eleven-year-old autistic student tries to control his meltdown after being severely bullied all day at school:

He stepped out [of the school] to see his papers being blown away, the girl who was being suspended for hitting him all day having apparently dumped out his things. And that’s when the meltdown occurred. He began picking up desks and throwing them. Keep in mind that he’s eleven. All of the desks and chairs ended up in a pile in the middle of the room. It was a slow-motion rage — oddly controlled, as he went out of his way to make sure he never threw a chair or desk in such a way that I would be hit by one.[4]

This angry child “went out of his way” to make sure that no one would be hurt by his actions.  Fortunately, the writer, an autistic teacher, noticed this.  A neurotypical teacher might have just focused on his throwing furniture and punished accordingly.

By the time autistic children grow into adults, they are usually able to avoid meltdowns and aggression, even when they are angry.  Of course, some adult autistics, just like some neurotypicals, never master this skill and continue to have short fuses and violent outbursts throughout their lives.  But the majority will at most allow themselves to yell at someone, or they will have a quiet “shutdown” (which usually involves seeking isolation and then sobbing).  

The real problem is that, even when they control their behavior, the anger does not go away.  Many autistics experience anger on a regular basis.  They lead very difficult and frustrating lives, and, though they may not act out aggressively, they are still prone to “angry rumination,” constantly dwelling on the things that have made them angry, going over and over events in their minds.  Autistics are prone to perseverating on particular thoughts anyway, and upsetting events can easily preoccupy them for long periods of time.  In the general population, such “angry rumination” is associated with a variety of negative psychological outcomes.  While little research has been done on the phenomenon in autistic adults, two studies have shown an association between their angry rumination and problems with anxiety and depression.[5]   More research on ways to block rumination in autistics and to lessen stress in autistic lives seems long overdue.


[1] “What Triggers Your Rage Attacks” on the Wrong Planet website, December, 2017:  https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=357406&start=0.

[2] DestinedToBeAPotato, in the “do you have trouble controlling ur anger?” discussion on the Wrong Planet website, February 15, 2016:  https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=306240.

[3] Alexandra Forshaw, “The Arrogance of Sanity,” on her blog My Autistic Dance, October 28, 2018:  https://myautisticdance.blog/2018/10/28/the-arrogance-of-sanity/.

[4] Troy Camplin, “Autism in the Schools — A Personal Narrative,” on his An Intense World blog, November 21, 2017:  https://anintenseworld.com/2017/11/21/autism-in-the-schools-a-personal-narrative/.

[5] Lake-Hui Quek, et al., “Co-Occurring Anger in Young People With Asperger’s Syndrome,” Journal of Clinical Psychology 68:10 (October, 2012), 1142-48; Shivani Patel, “Association between anger rumination and autism symptom severity, depression symptoms, aggression, and general dysregulation in adolescents with autism spectrum disorder,” Autism 21:2 (February, 2017), 181-89.

Whoopee!

I finally have a full draft of my book, What Today Withholds: Autism and Human Rights in America!

Still need to do some copy editing and formatting, but I hope the book will be out this summer.

If you want to keep up with the process, check out my other wordpress site, meganmclaughlinwriting.com, and sign up for my newsletter (which I must admit has been pretty pitiful so far, since I’ve been so focused on the book itself).

Autistic Poverty, Part 2

Throughout the U.S., at least half of autistic adults reside in a family member’s home—even when they would prefer to live on their own.[1]  Sometimes they just don’t have the skills to live independently, but more often they can’t afford to, because they don’t earn enough.   If they come from a financially stable, functional family this may be frustrating, but it is still the best solution.  Unfortunately, though, some impoverished families become even worse off as their autistic child reaches adulthood.  While most autistic adults living with family members do receive SSI, some households receive SSI benefits for their autistic child, but then lose the benefits after the child became an adult.  So there may actually be less money available to pay for an adult child living in the home than there was for the young child living there.[2]  This creates a very stressful situation, both for the family and for the autistic adult.[3]

An even more troubling issue is that of familial abuse.  Sadly, many autistic adults are trapped by poverty into abusive, even fatal situations at home.[4]  The mother of one Wisconsin 21-year old locked him in the basement with only a bucket for a toilet.[5]  In Louisiana, an autistic woman whose parents were dead was “taken in” by her cousins.  They stole her SSI checks, kept her in a cage, beat her, shot her with a B.B. gun, and forced her to consume her dead mother’s ashes, among other horrendous acts.[6]  Some of this is simple sadism, but the cause of abuse can also be a refusal to accept the reality of autism.  One young woman wrote:

my parents do not want a child like me. They want an outgoing, socially normal, confident child, which I am not, and never have been. However, they pretend to themselves that I am all the things they want me to be, and when I am not they berate and punish me for being lazy, selfish, arrogant, heartless, acting stupid etc. They pretend that the only reason I am not what they want me to be is because I am badly behaved, so they punish me and yell at me when I am myself.[7]

Living with family can be a good solution for some adults, but it also can be a tragic one.


[1] The Autism Housing Network estimates that 87% of autistic adults live with their parents, but only 22% actually want to live with them:  “Statistics to Share,” on the Autism Housing Network website:  https://www.autismhousingnetwork.org/education/statistics-to-share/.

[2] Manasi Deshpande, “Does Welfare Inhibit Success?  The Long-Term Effects of Removing Low-Income Youth from the Disability Rolls,” American Economic Review 106:11 (2016), 3300-3330.

[3] One quarter of families with adult autistics living with them had a household income of less than $25,000/year: Anne Roux, et al., National Autism Indicators Report: Family Perspectives on Services and Supports (Philadelphia, PA: Life Course Outcomes Research Program, A.J. Drexel Autism Institute, Drexel University, May 2021), p. 27.

[4] In general, the disabled are much more likely to experience violence than those without disabilities, and that violence is more likely to be perpetrated by relatives:  Erika Harrell, “Crime Against Persons with Disabilities, 2009-2015 – Statistical Tables,” U.S. Department of Justice Bureau of Justice Statistics Report, July, 2017:  https://bjs.ojp.gov/content/pub/pdf/capd0915st.pdf

[5] Kristen Zambo, “Racine Woman Accused of Keeping Autistic Son Locked in Basement,” Journal Times (Racine, Wisconsin), July 10, 2013:  https://journaltimes.com/racine-woman-accused-of-keeping-autistic-son-locked-in-basement/article_2e9f5005-8950-5104-b0d1-13fa6e466066.html.

[6] Alisha Brown, “Trapped in Hell’: Family Accused of Keeping Autistic Woman in Cage, Making Her Eat Mom’s Ashes,” The Daily Beast July 27, 2018:  https://www.thedailybeast.com/trapped-in-hell-family-accused-of-keeping-autistic-woman-in-cage-making-her-eat-moms-ashes; Caroline Grueskin, “Alleged ringleaders plead guilty in abuse of autistic woman; was kept in cage, fed mother’s ashes,” The Advocate (Baton Rouge, Louisiana), May 20, 2019:  https://www.theadvocate.com/baton_rouge/news/communities/livingston_tangipahoa/article_9fabde80-7b35-11e9-9fc5-236d748f322e.html;  “Louisiana couple sentenced for abusing caged autistic woman,” KALB television, October 31, 2019:  https://www.kalb.com/content/news/Louisiana-couple-sentenced-for-abusing-caged-autistic-woman-564189941.html.

[7] FandomConnection, in the “Emotional Abuse?” discussion on the Wrong Planet website, July 30, 2017:  https://wrongplanet.net/forums/viewtopic.php?t=351924.